Having your first baby is a huge transition. One day you are childless, you work full-time and sleep in on the weekend. Then the next you are a parent, spending your days with a completely dependent infant. In my case it was literally the next day, since I went to work on Friday and then unexpectedly went into labour and gave birth on Saturday. But even if it’s a little less abrupt it’s still huge and overwhelming and sort of incomprehensible.
Today I am profiling the stories of two women and how they made that shift from being at work to being on maternity leave with a small baby.
Tracey, a fellow Vancouverite, shares the Highlights and Lowlights of Mat Leave in her post. They range from her husband re-building the engine on his MG during his parental leave, to overflowing breast shells at IKEA, to battling isolation and dealing with a lay-off. Here is an excerpt:
I found my mat leave very isolating. Sure the first few months were busy with visitors, but they eventually stop, and your hubbie goes back to work. Then you are alone, with sore boobs, little sleep and very few people to talk to. I went to my local community health nurse group (was the BIG outing in my world for a long time). I spent a lot of time online researching breastfeeding resources, strollers and slings. And of course updating my facebook with pictures of the little man.
The ever-fabulous Brie also shares her experiences in her third and final carnival post, Maternity leave: socializing and isolation. She talks about how she was worried about the isolation she would face during her maternity leave, and forcing herself to go out. Eventually, through her various social activities she made a great friend and found some connections. Here is piece taken from the post:
My first outing on my own with the girl was to story time at the library when she was five weeks old. She was by far the youngest one there. I didn’t care though. I was happy that I had made it to the library, happy that she breastfed in public with no problem and thrilled to be meeting other moms. Over that fall and winter I was at the library as many as three times a week for story time. I also went to playgroups, the baby wellness clinic and the park. I went for walks everyday and invited people over. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone in order to make friends for myself and for her.
I really relate to Tracey and Brie. I wrote a similar post about my experience on my first maternity leave called Playgroups Saved my Sanity. I wrote then:
I realized very quickly that I had two choices. I could spend my days at home all alone, watching Law & Order reruns and slowly going insane. Or I could get out of the house and find someone, anyone, to talk to. Someone who could understand how my world had been totally rocked and why I secretly wondered if I’d made a horrible, horrible mistake. Given those two options, I chose to get out of the house.
The truth is that as moms we need each other. We need the support of other people who are in the same place that we are. Because it is hard. It is the hardest thing you’ll ever do, caring for your babies. Cultivating a community is so very, very valuable when your whole world is upside down.
PS – I’m still looking for some more maternity leave stories for next week. If you’re interested, email me at amber [at] strocel [dot] com. There’s chocolate up for grabs if you write something! 
Mmmm . . . did you just promise chocolate? I agree that adjusting to being an at home parent can be rough, but going into my 3rd year, I find that it is the most rewarding work that I’ve ever done and that well, there are others (moms and dads) like you (at home parents) who are seeking connection. The good news is that eventually, a newborn turns into an infant and then a toddler and your child will seek out social activity, which leads to lots and lots of social opportunities for the at home parent. I find that meeting other parents is something akin to picking up single guys during my pre-married days; a pick up goes something like this: “hey baby, can I get your number?” or “We should grab coffee or meet at the park sometime . . .” I find this is also highly effective for locating child care,
Anyway, I’m glad you’re exploring this issue Amber; it ain’t easy and it is helpful to understand what other parents are going through . . .
I was nice to read about other people’s experiences. I can really relate to a lot of it.
Reading your post, prompted me to write a little something about my own experience on my blog. Feel free to take what you need from that and let me know if you have any questions.
http://mommying-around.blogspot.com/2009/08/isolation-and-insanity-during-maternity.html
Best of luck,
Susan
Amber, was this maternity leave carnival your idea? It’s great. Very illuminating.
I was told to outright lie to my human resources dept. when I left to have a baby because the way leave was organized was so unfair and would have cost me a lot of money if I didn’t organize it just right. I was very uncomfortable with the whole thing…