It’s Thursday and I’m Crafting my Life! This month I’m writing about deciding what you want and going after it. Last week I wrote about figuring out what you want. Today I’ll talk about setting goals based on what you’re going after.
Once you have some idea of what you want, the logical next step is deciding how to obtain it. This is where you start addressing some of the practicalities of crafting your life. I like this stuff, since I am at heart a very practical person. I like having something to plan and things to do. I am a huge fan of creating step-by-step lists in my head. However, not everyone feels the same way as I do, and that’s OK. Creating a ’13-point plan for personal life success and goal fulfillment’ isn’t required.
Since we’re all different, you do not have to do the same things that I do. If you want to create a list of your dreams and then burn it, that’s fine. This is your life and I am not handing out assignments that you must complete. You also do not have to rush from one step to the next. You can spend a whole year dreaming and never set a goal if that’s what you want. If your children are keeping you way too busy to open your pottery studio, that’s cool too. No pressure, no homework and no deadlines are required. The bit about deadlines is especially huge for most moms of small children. The truth is that we accomplish a lot, but rarely the things on our to-do lists. We can wallow in guilt about that, or we can accept that dreams do not have expiration dates. Right now, I’m opting for no expiration date.
Now that we’re clear that we’re doing this in a way that works for us, without beating ourselves up and of our own free will, how do we do it? How do we move from dreaming to goal-setting? Here are a few things that I’ve done.
- Pick one thing that feels achievable. If you have a list like I do, you have some things on there that are big life-long ideas, some things that are small and some things that are not currently practical. Start with something manageable that you can do right now to build your confidence and momentum.
- Break a task up into small and manageable steps. I am not a big picture sort of person. I find having a large task in front of me sort of intimidating. But here’s the thing – I don’t have to accomplish a large task. I can accomplish many small steps that in the end might lead to finishing the large task. I personally prefer to think of the small steps, one at a time.
- Consider the necessities of life. We all need to eat, and if you’re worried about how you’re going to make that happen you can’t really focus on much else. Having the basics of life taken care of, whether that means you’re continuing in your old job for now or you have built up some savings or what-have-you, frees you up to move forward.
- Free up some resources. If you want to accomplish something, you need the time and space to do it. I am not so good at getting these things, I’ll admit it. That’s the reality of my life. But the more that I am able to dictate my optimal working conditions, the more productive I am and the better I feel. It’s not something I’m great at, but it is something I strive for.
- Get yourself a cheerleader. You don’t have to tell anyone what you’re doing if you don’t want to. But I have found that having someone in my corner who will not laugh at me, and who will support me, is very valuable. Sharing the desires of your heart is scary, but it’s also a good way to find help, sometimes even where you wouldn’t have expected it.
How do you translate a dream into a goal? Or do you? I’d love to know!
January’s Crafting my Life series is about what you want and going after it. On the last Thursday of the month, which just happens to be the 28th, I will include a link up. To participate, write a post on this month’s theme sometime during January, and add yourself to the list. Then go off and read everyone else’s ideas and thoughts and be inspired!
Right now I’m kind of stuck back on figuring out what my goal is. I see long walks in my future.
I’m with you on how to achieve a goal once one’s been decided upon. I also like lists and use them in my day-to-day. I don’t always write them down but it’s pretty common for me to stand back from the chaos and think okay step 1 is x and step 2 is xx. I suppose that’s the analyst in me.
Hey! Where is the Spice Girls video? Or how about a little Rolling Stones, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”
Goal setting is great but you need some tunes to dance to those small and manageable steps
.-= Carrie´s last post ..Return of the F.A.C. =-.
One of the other functions of telling someone about my goal is to make me feel a little more incentive to actually do it — if you keep it to yourself it’s easier to just keep putting it off. And I absolutely agree about breaking it up into small, manageable steps. And, I would add, after every small step, applying large infusions of chocolate.
.-= Allison´s last post ..***********I’m Mad as Hell and I’m Not Gonna Take it Anymore! Sorta. =-.
The cheerleader part is so important I’ve found. I’ll flake out on even the most wanted goal unless I’ve got someone behind me.
.-= Summer´s last post ..I’m Gonna Keep Sayin’ It Till You Change It =-.
hear hear to cheerleaders!
i’m still fighting my automatic procrastination that won’t let me get things done unless everything else family-oriented on my list is tidied away.
what i might do today (once i have a few of the must-do’s, which amazingly for me i have actually prioritised, finished) is write down every single thing i need to do for home, family, business, volunteering and then be ruthless with a big, black marker pen to declutter my life!!!
.-= pomomama aka ebbandflo´s last post ..automatic assumptions of childcare =-.
This may be counterintuitive, but it’s something that works for me. It’s a motto: anything worth doing is worth doing badly but right away.
I think we can learn a lot from watching kids. A 6 year old says “I’m going to build a rocket!” and then doesn’t follow up with “first I’m going to get a degree in Engineering, spend 6 years building my career in Aerospace, and then I’ll write some schematics.” No, they go and get the cardboard and some scissors. And they fail, but they have fun, and maybe they learn a little something about building that they use next time. And they don’t dwell (probably) on what went wrong.
As a mom with young kids, and therefore in the prime zone for failing at any time-limited goals I might set, I use this idea a lot. It’s how I get emails sent to family (if I get interrupted after writing 3 sentences, I hit ‘send’ anyway), and it’s how I do a lot of my handwork. Sometimes, it takes months to get a single project done. Sometimes, I’m surprised by how much I get done. Sometimes, I get things done that suck. But at least I jumped in.
.-= Kirsten´s last post ..Work continues apace =-.
I need to get better about this! Also you have an award on my blog.
.-= Lisa @Retro Housewife Goes Green´s last post ..Happy 101 Award =-.
I’m sort of going through something right now that is related to what you just wrote about. I have magically freed up resources for time and am having trouble motivating myself to do a lot. It has been over a year since I worked full time. It would be easier if I had a full time job to go back to (in which case I would be forced to work) but I don’t so I really need to push myself to make better use of my time.
I like to break big todos down to small manageable tasks as well. Late week, I started off with a huge todo list and never got much done and I was intimidated by the list. This week I’m trying something a little different. I’m writing down a daily todo list that also includes everything I do get done in the day, which I consider an achievement. Even things like collecting all the garbage and taking it out, cleaning the floors, replying to emails etc. When I create a daily list, everything is automatically broken down into small tasks. At the end of the day when I look back at my list, I don’t feel as guilty knowing that I did get some things done. When my husband gets home and asks what I did all day, I just show him the list. Right now, he is my only cheerleader
.-= mommyingaround´s last post ..Daycare is a big transition for baby and me =-.
Okay my goal for this month other than daily blog posts is to write a post that is along the lines of you Mondo Beyondo (your big list). You can link it on the 28th if I get how this works. I like the idea of blogging about adoption & parenthood but a bit about how one fits into all that is super important.
I love reading the Crafting your life series….well, I just love reading what you write. Thanks for sharing these bits of yourself with us.
.-= Patti´s last post ..Do it for the children……. =-.
I’m not a list person at all. Oh, I have excuses, how can I write a grocery list when I’m never sure what I’ll find at the store etc Perhaps my goal could be to become more of a list person:). Actually, I think my goal could be to start a new vegetable garden in a spot more protected from the deer.
.-= Francesca´s last post ..Baking for 10 =-.
Accepting that some goals are *very* long term has been difficult, but freeing for me. I would like to write more in the future, but I am content with the present.
.-= Lady M´s last post ..More Things For Feet =-.
Maybe it is the New Year that is putting you and I on a similar wave length, but I’ve chosen “focus” as my guiding word in the coming year. To meet my objectives, I created 2 charts using velcro squares that I move around on the days of the week for when I accomplish something that I’d like to do each week that will help me on my way.
As you probably know, I want to be a photographer, so my plan includes an Aperture 2 course (at home), reading more about photography, getting out and shooting, and then sharing my work (here and eventually, the big goal, is a to do a community show).
Anyway Amber, this is a great article. What is your big goal? Magazines?
.-= Jessica´s last post ..My Day in a Poem =-.
Hi, I always remember what my professor in college once told me. Goal Setting should be S.M.A.R.T. – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time Bounded. That is really a good practice on Goal Setting.
I like this idea, and I think I know what I want, but to write it down on paper in words is hard. I guess that’s my first step. Baby steps, I’ll remind myself it doesn’t need to be accomplished overnight.
I love reading your blog, you inspire me to be more motivated.