My daughter Hannah is 4 1/2 years old. And she’s a girl. If you’ve ever met anyone in this demographic you know that most of them are really, really into princesses. Especially the Disney variety. My kid is no exception.
I did my best to avoid this. I don’t want to pigeon-hole my kids into strict, societally-imposed gender roles. I don’t particularly enjoy the messages shared in the Disney princess films. Sadly, as it turns out, Hannah does not share my views. She just wants to be beautiful and dance at the ball with her prince while wearing impractical footwear. Initially I was worried about the princess love. At this point, though, I’ve mostly gotten over it. I remember being 4 years old and wanting nothing more than to be a ballerina. I went on to become an engineer. Fighting it just makes it more appealing, and in the long run my example will be more important than something my kid saw in a movie.
But. (There’s always a but, isn’t there?) Thanks to the princesses Hannah will no longer smile when I take her picture. Because, you know, princesses don’t smile. Instead they look down demurely and half-curve their lips without opening their mouths. It’s supposed to be dainty and feminine, I suppose. But I don’t really think this is a good look, myself. I think that everyone looks better when they smile naturally. Hannah disagrees. And so, I have reams of photos of what I call the ‘princess pose’.
I’ll admit it. In spite of myself I find the princess pose sort of cute. Although sometimes I do wish she would smile naturally, at least once in a while.
Does anyone else have a one-pose wonder? And if so, what inspired it? I’d love to know!
Oh, Amber! I can totally relate to you on this one…I remember my daughter was almost three when she became interested in the princess stuff. I see Hannah's pictures look a lot like Kylah's use to at that age…very funny. I too tried to avoid the princess stuff, but alas, it snuck itself into our home. Through gifts from family, and having a cousin who was into it first, the princess did emerge. It almost seems inevitable that most girls go through this phase. It will end, Amber! My daughter just turned six, and the princess is almost gone. Looking back, however, I can appreciate how cute it was, and how tame compared to some of the stuff kids are into as they get older…lots of filtering happening at our house! ( No Bratz dolls included) lol
I have a similar situation although mine doesnt involve any sort of princess. My "sweet, darling" 4 year old boy loves anything evil. His life long dream is to grow up to be a bad guy and live in the "dark side of the forest". Lol. I try to avoid any kind of violence but it appears to be the "norm" lately. And of course, the more I fight it, the more appealing it is. Since each child has their own personality, which we never planned, my only course of action is to ensure "make believe" and reality are two seperate things. Good luck!
You hit the nail on the head, Cindy. These kids are their own people, no matter what we say or do. Good luck to you, too!
Too true! As I've learned through my first child, trying to control things only makes it worse. We just have to guide them as best we can. Cindy, sounds like I'll be facing some new interesting things with my son as he gets older!!
When I was very active in the feminist and peace movements, my 4 yo daughter gravitated to the hot pink feather boa and plastic high heels in the play corner of her preschool and my 6 yo son wanted a gun more than anything.(Of course!) We managed through the princess phase and bought my son a colourful plastic "squirter" for the bathtub. I tolerated and accepted their choices, although sometimes with gritted teeth. (The gun was never acceptable and thankfully, was a phase he outgrew.) And, yes, we were mindful of the toys we bought, although others weren't, so we learned a lot as parents about individual choices vs. family values.(That is a whole other book, btw!)Today they are wonderful adults, both comfortable with their strong and their sensitive sides…who knew it would all work out? As you said, parental modellling is a very powerful influence..that, and the friends they choose, so we tried to stay on top of that (until it was out of our hands) by having our house "friend accessible" and, yes, we were very involved. It's a lot of work raising responsible, self-actualized children, but it sounds like you all are doing a great job!
Very interesting, Marcy! Family values vs individual choices is something we are dealing with now. My daughter is six, and all the rage now are the "High School musical" movies. Now, for the most part they are tame, and the music very appealing, but I don't want my daughter watching them yet. As the title implies, they are about teenage feelings and experiences, something I don't find age appropriate for my daughter. Not everyone would agree with me, but that is just how I feel. Kylah is a very reasonable child, and she does not really ask to see them..But did see part of the movie at someone else's house! Now, i didn't make a big deal about it, and I would never tell another parent what to do, but I wondered how I would deal with situations like this in the future as Kylah gets older. Lots to ponder, so I found what you wrote interesting…
Your little princess is so cute!
I’m a long way from embracing Disney princesses, but hopefully I can get there too if our little girl decides to go that route. Sigh.
Our son on the other hand has a very different pose. The hand-outstretched-in-front-of-face combined with grumpy-don’t-take-my-picture look. Just lovely. I think the princess pose is far better.
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i think his grin comes from reading too much Calvin and Hobbes (as does a lot of his other behaviour, much to his teachers’ collective amazements – yes, books can be as powerful as unlimited tv!).
and the Wee Guy likes princesses too (yay for gender stuff)
.-= pomomama aka ebbandflo´s last post ..time to get with it =-.
Yes, back we go to the role of the parent in filtering. (One of our main reponsibilities, I believe.) Both I and, later, my daughter, have been far stricter than most in terms of the movies, TV programs, etc. that our children were allowed to watch. Eventually they do get to see them at their friends' homes but the message has been sent: "These are things we think are not appropriate for you at your age, and, yes, it IS a shame that you have such awful parents. Now shall we do something fun together?" Later they will use their "strict parents" as an excuse to avoid doing something they might not have wanted to do anyway. Of course, there has to be a lot of graduated freedom, too, within those limits, depending on the child's maturity and track record.The challenge for me was knowing when to loosen up. We called our son The Great Negotiator because he learned to be so reasonable with his requests as he knew that throwing tantrums or being sullen never worked. However, he talked us into many a later curfew…:-)Nice to have this discussion.
Ha! That’s hilarious. Eve does try to pick out the more reserved pose in school pictures and such, but generally she forgets herself when the camera comes out and I get the wide open goofiness that I love. Angus went through a really unfortunate period when he was three or four in which his ‘smile’ was more like a tortured grimace that made it possible to see right up his nose. Thankfully, that passed.
I shared your initial discomfort with the princess stuff. Happily, my little princess moves easily between the ballroom floor and the baseball diamond. I’m sure yours will too.
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So cute! And yes, it is also my 4 1/2 year old’s favourite ‘look.’ But I think it’s coy and cute – mine’s actually not that into princesses. She likes them as much as she likes rescuing animals or getting her sister to do her bidding.
Growing up I wasn’t too particularly into princesses or disney movies (until Beauty & The Beast and The Little Mermaid came out when I was 8 or so, of course), but my entire childhood is littered with pictures of me doing this exact same pose. Hands clasped, twisted in front of me, head cocked to the side, smile showy and insincere. Worry not!
My oldest is almost three and refuses to smile nicely too. He usually stares sullenly but occasionally I can catch him acting like a nut – however I don’t think I’ve had a nice normal smile picture for months and months. I think her princess pose is cute…at the very least it’ll give you something to laugh about when you look back on all the pics from this phase. Have you been to visit the “real” princesses at Disneyland? I’m pretty sure the pics I have from the real-live Disney Princesses taken from Disneyland have them smiling with an open mouth.
sorry to say it, but that is ADORABLE!!!!! She is very photogenic and has a knack for getting the cute to come through in pictures (a skill I do not have).
It could be worse, my boys have NO posing saavy at all. 98% of my pictures of them they look either stunned or gross! (Thank heavens for digital cameras, I can take 300 pictures at a time so that I can have a few decent ones!).
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She’s adorable! I’ll admit it’s a giggle to see a whole row of photos with the matching head tilt. The princess pose is still better than the month where I got nothing but “roaring lion” expressions. No idea where that came from, but I’m glad it passed.
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How could Hannah not be adorable…I have met her parents!
Alhtough Emma is very much into princess’s and the like, she is also equally in love with Spider Man! The year for playschool she picked out a princess lunch kit and thermos and a Spider Man back pack to carry it all in. She wanted the best of both worlds. This year for Halloween both the girls want to be Spider Man. I think having lots of little boy friends has been good for the girls. Yesterday Emma came home from a friends and wanted to be Hannah Montana though – the little girl in the house is in grade 2! Hannah Montana is more frightening than any Disney Princess in my books though!
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She is just so lovely and beautiful!
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I’m glad you just let her be a princess!
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