As I mentioned on Friday, our family spent last week on vacation. It was a true family vacation in every sense. We stayed close to home because we didn’t want to contemplate air travel with our children. We chose a family friendly resort that offered full kitchens, because we didn’t want to contemplate restaurants with our children. We visited family friendly attractions and went to bed early at night.
Jon and I have taken many trips with our kids over the years. The first was an overnight with our daughter Hannah when she was 5 months old. On that very first trip with our very first baby we realized that vacations would never be the same. We would enjoy ourselves, sure. There would be mind-blowing awesomeness as we watched our kids discover sand for the first time or splash in the sea. There would be memories to last a lifetime. But there would be no ‘getting away from it all’, because we were packing ‘it all’ with us. And I do mean it all, including the stroller, pack ‘n play, diapers and baby tylenol, just in case.
Jon tries to get some vacation reading in while Jacob cuddles up to him
Kids need just as much attention on the road as at home, maybe even a little more. At home, we’ve baby-proofed. We have craft supplies and shelves full of books and way too many toys and a fenced back yard. On the road we have none of these things. 22-month-old Jacob will find the non-safety-latched cupboard containing the dish soap and make a royal mess. 5-year-old Hannah will be at a loss for ways to entertain herself. Everyone will wake up early because the beds are unfamiliar and our predictable routine is gone.
The kids managed to stress out the local deer population, too
For all of that, our recent vacation went pretty well. I think it’s because over 5 years of family travel Jon and I have adjusted our expectations. Vacations are no longer about reading a massive novel in 3 days, or sleeping in, or dining out. There are no long walks together where we talk about everything under the sun, or afternoons spent browsing used books stores and antique shops. We’ve let that go, at least for now, and we’re (mostly) cool with it.
About 90 minutes into the 2 hour walk of doom
Even with our coolness, there were some moments while we were away. There was the walk I took the children on by myself that was supposed to take 20 minutes and ended up taking more than 2 hours. Most of that time I carried Jacob on my hip because I didn’t think to bring a baby carrier or stroller. There was the ice cream incident, in which an extremely sticky Jacob had a total meltdown and poor lactose-intolerant Jon had to clean him off. There were some pointed glances over little heads as yet another child dissolved into tears and neither of the adults felt like dealing with it. Someone might have yelled, “We’re having fun here! And I mean it!”
Washing your hands is important at home or on the road
Kids are kids no matter where they are. The dodgy moments during our trip were no different than the dodgy moments we have had at home. So we did our best to let go of our expectations of an idyllic vacation and rolled with it. We spent a whole lot of time together and we shared some great experiences. We saw new places and people through our children’s eyes. But we did not really get away from our regular day-to-day existence. That’s just not what a family vacation is about.
Do you enjoy traveling with your kids? How do you make it more fun for everyone? If you have any secrets, please share them. I could use all the help I can get!
You took the words right out of my head! We are planning a family vacation for this summer and I’m thinking (hmm… vacation no longer has the same meaning AT ALL.). But such is life as a parent! One day, they won’t even want to be seen with me, so I better take advantage of it now.
See, this is why (barring a spur of the moment overnighter to someplace like Harrison Hot Springs this summer) I am SO glad our first REAL family vacation will be complete with back-up. Mike and I will have his parents AND his neice as additional child-wranglers…uhh, care givers
Glad to hear that overall it was still a fun vacation.
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I’m really feeling this post right now because we are leaving tomorrow morning for a 3 day excursion to Chicago. I’m looking forward to it and dreading it all at the same time. Last year our vacation was half-great and half-awful, I’m hoping for better stats this year. We shall see…
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Wow, I don’t know if I have the energy for such a relaxing family vacation. We’ve traveled with our son a lot–a lot– in his 16 short months, but now that he’s become a full-blown toddler, I don’t know if we will attempt it again until he is 16. I felt we were pretty good at keeping a baby happy during long plane flights and in strange new surroundings, but a toddler is just so much more work.
A few things I have found, though, that help make the flights go fast are having lots of different non-messy snacks and bringing along a few brand new books and toys. That, and letting my toddler run his little legs off in the terminal during the long layover.
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I’ve really enjoyed traveling with my wee guy – we’ve done some long plane rides back to the UK which have gone fairly well so far. Prep begins a few weeks ahead so I make sure there are lots of novel items in the carry on for his amusement. It’s much easier now he’s enjoying reading (less weight to carry).
I’ve also really enjoyed vacationing with him too. He’s a fun little adventurer to be with. Once we’re at our destination we establish a few ground rules for quiet time and try to set up a bedtime routine which will guarantee me some off-duty time in the evening. We also gather tourist info and brochures then let I him have a hand in the planning.
As for family holidays? …… hmmmm ….. I prefer it just the Wee guy and me.
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It`s no easy thing, is it? Different joys, different frustrations. We’re going on a 10 day ”holiday” to Alberta this summer with a six year old, four year old, and 10 month old in tow. I’m feeling mildly horrified by the prospect, truth be told. We’ll be at a different place every other night (lots of family to visit) and I’m expecting frequent melt downs. I guess that’s the trick, and it’s something you’ve already figured out. Not to expect idyllic and peaceful. To have those expectations be realistic. And to thoroughly enjoy the joyful moments as they come.
A DVD player in the car doesn’t hurt either…
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It is all about adjusting expectations and just rolling with it…
Learning to relax…learning to deal….when we could just do Disney at the kids level..we had a blast.
My big thing now is my energy level. Mom wants us to take the kids over to Sidney next week and I am in fear about the baby not sleeping…
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I’m getting ready for one of these. It’s at the family lake house, where the repeated refrain is, “we’ve never lost a child over the 20 foot cliff 10 feet out the door, so I don’t know why you are worried.” Sigh. Just, sigh.
Also, getting on 2 planes to get there with the 1, 3 and 5 year olds. At 6 a.m. You definitely had the right idea with your vacation.
We are getting ready for a road trip from California to Colorado. A 30 month old and an 11 year old will have to sit through 2 days of driving! Yuck. (mostly for me who is going to have to listen to the complaining!)
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I totally agree. There is no vacation anymore when the kids come along. We just came back from a vacation that was too far away because we didn’t have much choice. Our toddler met his French side of the family for the first time. It was nice but it was extremely hard on all three of us. The only way to make it easier is to try to stick to our usual routine as much as possible and let things slide more because it is hard enough being away from home. We weren’t as strict with the little guy, that’s for sure. We just wanted to keep him happy for everyone else around us. We figured we’ll deal with him when we get back, if we have to. Now that we are back, we have our hands full. Back to being strict and we now have a feisty toddler on our hands! Oh boy
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Oh my gosh–this is so TRUE! Thanks for making me laugh out loud. The only remotely vacationy family vacation we’ve been on is going up to a little camp WITH dh’s parents. 4 adults to two kids really helps the relaxation factor.
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I don’t leave town without my husband and at least one other adult to help out, and I only have one 14-month old! I really admire anyone who can travel with relative ease with young children. I’ve been reading Delicious Baby blog, and she’s gone to a lot of different places with her 3 young children. They’ve even recently celebrated their youngest’s first birthday in Europe. But as some of the others have mentioned, it’s a lot of prep work and rolling with the punches.
http://www.deliciousbaby.com/
I’ve always loved our family travels. But we mainly travel to see new places (ie tourism), or to be with family far away, and the little difficulties are nothing compared to the joy and adventure this kind of traveling brings us. The one thing that is never any fun is (family) jet lag.
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Slightly off topic… Are your kids old enough for minigolf yet? Some awesome choices in that area you stayed.
I find as with a lot of things with parenting, the older they get the easier the vacations are getting. Not quite as much whining about the car ride, not as much stress about the firepit or mysterious objects on the beaches being handled. They can perch by tidal pools without falling in (as much) and even keep themselves amused for longer than 15 seconds! Last time we went camping I DID read a novel! A WHOLE novel!
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I feel like that about pretty much every outing we take together. When Theo arrived, I was stressed out about being places at a certain time. After about 6 months, I realized that I simply could not commit to anything at any time ever. Now we have rougher ideas of naps, we can sort of plan things. But now he wants to get out of the stroller and finger walk, or crawl a long the sidewalk like a puppy. He grabs things off shelves. You know the drill!
This summer we’re heading east to my parents and then a cottage. I specifically requested NO DOCKS! Thankfully, it’s lake beach front and there’s a screened in veranda.
Enough of my rant. Lowering our expectations is the name of this game
We travel a fair bit bc our families live so far away (and we like to travel), but I’m with you: I usually need a vacation after my vacation! LOL (It doesn’t help that I hate flying.)
Road trips, tho, we’ve gotten really good at! We just being lots of art stuff and books and music and we can go anywhere! Fun!
Truer words were never spoken. I’m an anxious traveller at the best of times, so actually adding kids in wasn’t that big a shift. We just didn’t plan on anything too expensive or demanding. Now that they’re a little older it’s much easier and more fun. They’re quite an easy audience — Angus said just the other day “my idea of heaven is staying in a hotel and playing baseball”. And driving from Ottawa to Halifax last year was surprisingly enjoyable.
Our first trip with children was a camping trip when our oldest was six weeks. I realized then, that I wouldn’t enjoy camping anynore for a long, long time. It’s just too much work with kids. That said, I love to travel and have often with my oldest. We’ve been to Florida with both boys. It was challenging, but it was also wonderful. Our secret? Travel with the grandparents. It gives you a few extra hands, and some opportunity to get away on your own. At least it works for us.
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We definitely dine out when we go places. We also get the full kitchen like you do for breakfast and lunch but I LOVE eating out and I have never let my kids dampen that for me. Yes, 5 stars are out, but most casual (not necessarily with a kid menu) places I will venture into. That and we make sure to do what we want to do as well. Because everyone deserves to be happy, I think.
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For the last couple of years we’ve done a cottage vacation at a small rustic resort here in Ontario at the same time as friends of our vacation at the same resort. It makes a HUGE difference vacationing with another family that also has kids. The kids play together and amuse each other, which makes entertaining them a bit less work for us. In the evenings we take turns hosting dinner…one night we have them over to our cottage and we cook, the next night we go to their cottage and they cook. When we’re down at the beach there are always several adults around so if one person needs to nip into town to grocery shop, it’s no big deal. We’ve already booked another cottage vacation together in August and I can’t wait.
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My husband hates traveling with the kids. And I mean HATES IT. He can’t fully explain it because to me a melt-down here is the same as a melt-down at home. Regardless this is the year we will travel with the kids. My sister is getting married in Calgary in September and we have the Disney trip to reward K for ending his potty regression. No matter what we’re going on these trips. Good luck to us!
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Ah, vacation really is just about a change of scenery with little ones, isn’t it? We mostly keep them short and sweet — one-nighter excursions within driving distance or even day trips. That way we can stay up late and screw up routines and then recover back at home. Still, now that Colum is four, I’m starting to get a glimmer of how much more fun vacationing is going to be once everybody is a couple years older. And not just more fun than it is now — more fun than it was before there were kids, too.
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We’re making our first airplane trip with both kids this summer. It ain’t the same, but it should be fun. Mostly.
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Your Parksville trip is the vacation we had planned last summer but had to cancel last minute. This year we are planning a long road trip and I am by turns excited and terrified. I am taking control of my emotions by buying way too many trinkets at value village that I am going to put into little paper bags for each day of our journey. Am so NOT traveling by air until they can read.
Having never gone farther than Langley with my boys, I don’t know what it will be like going to Brandon, Manitoba. I think we’ve set up a realistic itinerary with lots of time for running and playing (and camping!) But I hope to be strong enough to roll with the punches and remember to take lots of pictures, like you did. And bonus! – no tidal pools on the prairies.
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Ha! Having just gotten back from “vacation” myself this post rings true for me. I sort of hate traveling with kids. There, I said it. I mean, I really love it too. But the best part was getting back home again.
I love traveling. I hate traveling with kids. Maybe one day.
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