I find toddlers challenging, I admit it. They are very … very. They can be aggressive and loud and demanding. They move from extreme happiness to extreme sorrow to extreme anger at the drop of a hat. They act out physically and scream to get their way. And frequently, I have no idea what ‘their way’ actually is at this moment. It’s just lucky that toddlers are also the cutest people on the planet, with the way that they imitate you and learn new things every day and sincerely try to make you happy.
In the midst of the challenging toddler behaviour, though, I’ve gleaned some gems. My own toddlers, these little people who live out loud, have taught me a lot about life. There is so much joy and wisdom in young children, once you get past the screaminess. Here are some of the lessons my toddlers have taught me:
Toddler Jacob taking a slide
1. Live in the moment. Toddlers are all about right now. If they’re doing something that they like, they enjoy it fully. They don’t waste time and energy worrying about other stuff. They embrace the here and now, because that’s all they know. I suspect we would all be better off to do this a little more.
2. Don’t be afraid of falling down. When toddlers master new skills they practice, and practice again. They fall down, dust themselves off, and try again. Maybe not immediately, but they don’t give up on climbing a ladder just because it didn’t go well the first time. They accept the mistakes and learn from them.
Hannah’s first ride on the big kid slide, at almost 2
3. Set boundaries. The two classic toddler words are ‘no’ and ‘mine’. The classic toddler phrase is ‘no, mine’. Toddlers are not afraid of asserting their boundaries and staking claim. Sure, a little courtesy would be nice. But at the heart of it they’re showing that they can declare their limits, and they deem themselves worthy of consideration.
4. Be a trendsetter. Toddlers make some of the most, erm, creative fashion choices. It’s true that not all of them look good to the adult eye. And it’s true that not all of them are weather or situation appropriate. But any way you slice it, they’re setting their own trends and doing their own thing. Toddlers are not followers.
2 1/2 year old Hannah, the rock star fairy
5. Spend more time outside. Kids love the outdoors. As soon as I say the word ‘outside’ my kids run to fetch their coats and shoes. When you’re outside you can run and jump and throw the ball and use a loud voice. When you’re outside, you just feel better. I spend a lot more time outside thanks to my toddlers, and I’m grateful for that.
6. See the wonder in the mundane. When you’re out for a walk with a toddler and a plane passes overhead, they have to stop and watch it. They will point and comment on it. They will make sure that you see every bug, every dog, every truck, every stick and every leaf that you pass in your daily wanderings. They don’t take the world for granted, they see it and they see the magic in it.
22-month-old Jacob checking out the grass
Toddlers can be hard. But it’s a good kind of hard. Like knitting or sudoku. I think I’m a better person for mothering toddlers, and I’m glad of that.
So tell me. What lessons have your toddlers taught you?
PS – I was interviewed by the fabulous Lora of Cascadia Kids about my family’s trip to Parksville. It’s supposed to be posted today, so drop by and say hi!
Today is one of those scream-ey days for us…and it’s only 9:30 in the morning
Totally agree on the outdoor thing, my kids are in heaven in our backyard and it really forces me to get away from the screens all through out the house! Something my toddler, (who is now a preschooler) taught me is that we can make everything we need. In her wisdom and clarity, she simply states that whenever we need something we can just make it. Just like that. Now of course it takes a bit of work on Mom’s part but whateves! Since she started saying that, I’ve tried a whole lot harder to create things we need with her, rather than just pop out to the store to buy it. Or before buying something that we can’t make really think about whether or not we really need it. Let me tell you, it’s been tough, but I feel a heck of a lot better about myself at the end of the day.
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My children have taught me how to enjoy the early morning peacefullness. I am an early riser now. Not because they get me up, but because they sleep in. I am sitting in my kitchen right now, the birs are chirping outside my window and there is no noise other than my typing happening in the house. Ahhh, bliss. My children have also taught me to eat fast, especially if it is a yummy treat and I don’t necessarily want to share it with them!
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My kids have taught me to always keep my eyes open.
C @ Kid Things’s last post … Confession
We have lots to learn from toddlers! Lately, Theo and I walk around the neighbourhood (with the help of the handy dandy walker), and he makes frequent stops where he points at trees and flowers and birds and makes a gleeful excitement noise. It’s so cute. Nature lovers! Yay for nature loving toddlers!
Excellent post! The kids have informally “taught” you a lot, but it’s even more impressive that you took the time to learn from them; not a lot of parents do that.
On the last day of school, Victoria’s preschool class sang “All that I need, is a song in my heart, food in my belly and love in my family ” (it’s part of a Raffi song). Hearing her sing that made me question some of my career goals and life apsirations… and question the things I really “need”. Reading the lyrics on paper wouldn’t do a thing for me, but hearing them come from the mouth of a toddler had a profound effect. Ah, the wisdom of the young.
Oh, the joys of toddlers…they really do make you stop and take a good look at life, don’t they? I think Amelia lives the “try try again” to the fullest, especially when it comes to the cat. I wonder what it will take to make her leery of her claws. Instead of getting the fact that maybe she should leave Cherry alone she just pouts and says “Cherry hit me” and then goes right back for more!!
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Toddlers are a challenge, but that was my favorite age my kids passed through by far because they are so much fun! What I learned from my toddlers is “eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired, bathe when you’re dirty…” and so on. I guess this would fall under your “live in the moment” category. Toddlers are so unconcerned with what they SHOULD do at a certain time and I love that. Parenting a toddlers made me a much looser person, taught me how to go with the flow and I definitely became a better person for it. Viva le toddler!!!
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my toddler taught me that time outs are for grown ups too
pomomama aka ebbandflo’s last post … mama renew monday- all the things i didnt say
You expressed it beautifully!
The tenacity and perseverence is admirable in little people.
That and everything they do is with PASSION! Passionalte desires, fears, temper, love… nothing subtle or half hearted…. maybe that’s not so much a lesson as much as a thing that is truly amazing about them.
*pol’s last post … Junes Mission Update
This is all lovely and true.
And “screaminess” is just the word I’ve been searching for.
But I just spent a weekend trying to teach my little guy that he must not hit other toddlers, it’s better just to say “Hi” if you want their attention. And also that throwing sand in people’s faces is not at all cool…
I’m a little stuck trying to scrape up some wisdom from the little guy just now, all that comes to mind is, “No! Me do it!”
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My daughter says it like it is…she has showed me the power of speaking your mind without filters. What I love about this raw honesty is the acceptance she receives from other people. I am people pleaser and often hold back to ensure everyone is comfortable.
My kids have taught me joy. I think that’s the biggest one. I was a miserable lonely sort of person before having a family of my own, and in them I find access to wonders and marvels I haven’t experienced since I was a kid myself. It’s awe inspiring some days…the not-so-screamy days.
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My toddlers have taught me:
Patience
Not to take NO for an answer – everything is negotiable
That dancing is a great activity at least once a day
And I agree about them living in the moment.
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I love the pig-tails on Hannah in the slide pic!
My toddlers taught me that bath-time is a great way to wind down at the end of a hard day of running. Also, singing and dancing are always appropriate.
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My boy is 22 months old too and his toddlerhood has really taught me how to enjoy the little parts of each day. I love how children can add so much goodness to your every day life and how it really is the little things that are important. Right now my boy is taking out each and every hair elastic and dropping them on the floor while chiming in with an ‘oh uh!’ as he drops them. Just another exciting afternoon!
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I’m testing my gravatar on you.
Love this! If only we all could be more toddler-ish. Without the tantrums though.
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To not be afraid to show real, true feelings – joy! excitement! And, um grumpiness too, to round things out.
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I really like your view of the “no” and “mine” claims. I’m a better person too for mothering my children, and I think the most precious thing I learned is the value and meaning of unconditional love.
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Kids are full of great lessons and they will continue to teach you even when they are heading off to college.
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Love it. I miss my toddlerhood