My son Jacob is two and a half. He’s incredibly cute, which I firmly believe is a survival mechanism. Because as much as I love him and would walk barefoot on glass for him, all of that exuberance and experimentation gets to be a little … wearing. He pretty much has to be the cutest thing going for me to happily show up (and wipe up) day after day after day.
The other day was very much a toddler sort of day, when Jacob’s cuteness suddenly became very important. It started in the morning, when he climbed into my bed at 6:30am, grabbed my head in both hands and told me to, “WAKE UP!” It continued at breakfast time, when he threw all the cans I’d stacked up on the counter on to the floor one at a time, completely ignoring my repeated requests that he stop. It also carried right on through to the time I spent in the garden, when he dumped out several seed packets and jumped on to my back every time I bent over, knocking the wind out of me.
The highlight of the day came in the afternoon, though, when my daughter Hannah was at school. While I did a bit of work on the computer, Jacob wandered off. Right at the point when I started to think he was being just a little too quiet, I heard some noise at the front window. I took off at a sprint, saw that Jacob had opened the window, and heard his voice coming from outside. When I made it out to the front lawn I found my son there, wearing his gum boots and announcing proudly, “I did it! Mama, mama, I did it!”
The window Jacob escaped through – luckily it’s low to the ground
Fortunately, the window in question is low enough to the ground that Jacob wasn’t hurt at all. And I sort of appreciated that he’d planned his escape out enough that he was wearing boots. Clearly, the kid can think ahead. But the fact that my toddler could have run into the street or just generally set out on his own for adventure? That part was not so hot. I like to keep small people with limited judgment under my direct supervision as much as possible.
I did my best to communicate to Jacob that we do not jump out the front window. Or any window. He was a little bit bewildered by my reaction – clearly he was expecting high fives and parental enthusiasm over his accomplishment. But my stern talking-to about all the dangers that could have befallen him did not slow him down.
Geez, Mom, I was just trying to have a little fun when I jumped out the window
When it was time to pick up Hannah from school he refused to get in the stroller, and then when we were halfway to school, he refused to walk. Of course, I had left the stroller at home so I ended up half-carrying, half-dragging my kid up the hill of doom so that we wouldn’t be late for pick-up. On the way home he wouldn’t hold my hand when it was time to cross the street, and he tried to pick flowers from other people’s gardens.
As I was making dinner, I caught Jacob throwing things down a heating duct. He told me he’d thrown a mango down, too, so I found myself fishing around for fruit. I didn’t find any, but I did find three crayons. If my kitchen starts to smell in a couple of weeks, though, we’ll know that my arm just wasn’t long enough to reach the mango. As we were eating dinner, Jacob threw his food on the floor and dunked his meat in his water cup, then refused to eat the meat because it was wet. And while Hannah was having her bath he threw the bathroom stool and three full-sized bath towels into the water.
Some days with two and a half year olds are just like that. Looking back over the events from one 24 hour period, I can see why I’m so tired all the time. But, like I said, he’s pretty cute. He’s even learning how to tell knock-knock jokes – who could resist that?
Have your kids ever tried to escape out a window? And how did you handle that in-between time when they don’t want to ride in the stroller, but they’re still too small to walk very far? I could use helpful hints, recommendations for child-proof window locks or even just commiseration.
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I giggled so much reading this…it was just one disastrous event after another! And that’s exactly how I feel lately parenting my 23-month-old. I finish cleaning up one mess, and she’s busy making another. For the life of her, she just does not understand why I don’t want her to reach up on the stovetop (terrifying!) or toss decorative sand all over the bathroom. Glad to know it’s just her being a 2-year-old.
Oh boy – what a day! I hear that boys are much more “into things” than girls and this post is proof. I can’t recall ever having a day like that with my girls – thank goodness. But we’ve had our share of whiney and uncoorporative days. Tegan, at 4, is a little busy body too but she wants me to do everything with her. That’s not to say that I can take my eyes off her for 5 minutes though, because the playdoh will be out, the plants over watered and the sink will be full of bubbles. I will miss this stage though as busy as it is.
Oh, geez, Amber, thanks for giving me something new to worry about (windows)! On the other hand, thanks for making me feel a lot better about the antics of my nearly-two-and-a-half year old. Most days, I feel like I must be a huge parenting failure, given the things my son gets himself into and out of. But clearly, this is just what two-and-a-half year olds are like.
So thanks for bringing a smile to my face today.
Sarah’s last post … My Mothers Day
Twitter: pomomama
says:
oh boy. at least my wee guy left it until he was 3y to do similar, and he was mild in comparison to what you’re describing … but before you think “smug cow”, he left it until he was school age and then, let me tell you, it’s much worse. only now, at 8y, can i see the light at the end of the tunnel. here’s hoping for a few bright years until teenagerhood sets in.
PS: reasoning, discussion, bribery and so on all fly out the window when dealing with antisocial behaviours here – i try to emphasise what effect it has on the other people who share his space, and what consequences arise. not the same but we never did the can’t walk, won’t stroller stage – it’s the won’t peddle thing when he asks to take his bike out. if he won’t ride then he has to push it back to the car, from wherever we stop. actions, consequences.
i have no idea if it works – will report back in twenty years with update
pomomama’s last post … words or pictures what i did at northern voice 2011
Posts like these just highlight why we need solidarity as parents.
So we know that our children aren’t the only insane little dictators out there.
As for stroller at that tough age, I always took it with me….even if I rolled it empty. That way I could use it to be a very real threat of confinement if my toddler decided to walk like an overcooked noodle.
All we’ve done for windows is have screens installed with very tight latches. It isn’t kid proof (if they are determined) but it will make a hell of a noise and therefor alert me to their devious actions.
I DID however lose my kid when he figured out how to open the front door. (Awesome mom award please) My neighbour caught the little convict 3 houses up. We’ve since installed a safety lock waaaaaay at the top of the door.
Hope that mango is a myth.
Twitter: Miss_Scarlett99
says:
We live in fear of the window thing, mainly because the easily accessible windows are all VERY HIGH up from the ground. Images of the Eric Clapton tragedy flow through our minds. As a result the windows all have mini chains installed. So they can be opened but not enough for a kid to squeeze through.
The cats however, are a whole ‘nother ball game…I am slightly dreading the summer heat.
I can definitely relate with the exhaustion of toddlers. While Amelia doesn’t seem to be doing quite as much destruction as Jacob right now she makes up for it in complete meltdowns. All I can say is I am glad I don’t stay at home right now!! And I feel very sorry for my poor MIL
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Twitter: mothersofchange
says:
This made me laugh pretty hard! Thanks, my 2 1/2 year old is fortunate to also be remarkably cute! He’s not as resourceful as yours, though…he’s my #3 and he’s remarkably easygoing–what he needs to be cute for is the whiny clinging all the time. Gosh, that gets old. My #2, though, now HE was the resourceful one. Once when he was two, he took three rolls of tape and taped all six kitchen chairs to the floor. Then he taped the chairs to the table legs. And then he reenforced it all with string.
Its remarkable how FAST they manage to do stuff like crawl out front windows with their boots on, or tape the kitchen chairs to the floor hey?! Too funny.
I loved this line;
“I like to keep small people with limited judgment under my direct supervision as much as possible.”
So funny.
Once when my #2 (it’s always him…) announced he put my wedding and engagement rings down the heating vent, we took our point and shoot camera and stuck it in the vents to take pictures of what was down there. We never found the rings, but you might find a mango or two!
My best solution for him jumping on your back in the garden is for you to give birth to another boy. If they don’t have a brother to wrestle, they drive all the girls in their lives crazy by leaping on them all the time! =p But then you have two boys with combined resourcefulness climbing out windows…It’s lose-lose….
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My goodness! What a day! But, you know, this hilarious post is good blackmail material for the future….
Twitter: bitterindigo
says:
Well my last two year old just turned eight, so if it’s all the same to you, today I’m just going to laugh at you rather than with you….okay?
allison’s last post … Water Water Everywhere
Twitter: AmberStrocel
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I think that’s totally understandable. Happy birthday to Eve!
Twitter: Apartment_Mama
says:
Oh My God. I am terrified for you!! As an apartment dweller, windows make me woozy and I constantly fret when my toddler goes near the open windows. Even though there is no way that a person could crawl out of our windows (some engineer must have designed that one!), it still makes me sweat. You could possible chuck a small melon out of the opening and that is it! Knowing that in Jacob’s toddler mind it was totally cool to crawl up and out the window gives me shivers!
Mama in the City’s last post … From This To That
Hahaha! Love it! My two year is the same way (minus the talking, sigh). So much happy, enthusiastic, giggly TROUBLE. And half-carrying, half-dragging up hills. Oh yeah.
Inder’s last post … Two years old
The knock-knock jokes are ADORABLE! It appears to me that the cute MORE than balances out the mayhem!
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Twitter: thejaninefowler
says:
I laughed out loud reading this. I couldn’t contain the laughter at the part where he throws things into Hannah’s bath.
I also made my husband watch that knock-knock video last night.
oh my your day sounds a lot like mine!!! My son has never escaped through a window but it’s not for lack of trying on his part!
Jenn’s last post … Caution- kids at play
We currently have a 50 lb box of stuff blocking our front door because my almost 3 year old thinks nothing of unlocking the door and wondering outside. I have had days like the one you described. They are not fun. My toddler is indeed lucky he’s cute, because I’m pretty sure somewhere nearby there’s a wolf pack with his name on it. To add to the frustration, the more the unacceptable behavior accumulates during the day, the less effective my parenting and general coping skills become. I end the day exhaused, foul tempered, and disappointed in myself for losing my patience and just yelling at him to stop.
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Twitter: fuoriborgo
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Oh, dear, what a day! I don’t think my two boys together ever managed so much mischief in one single day!:)
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Twitter: ladymrules
says:
That was quite a day, especially the launching-out-a-window part! We had the Throwing of the Broccoli and then the Falling Off the Kitchen Chair at dinner tonight, before a little Go To Your Room settled things out.
Lady M’s last post … Hats and Bustles