When my daughter Hannah was a preschooler I marked every birthday with a new responsibility. It’s a reasonably popular parenting technique, in which you try to convince your kid that they’re big now, so they get to do Something! Fun!. Really, though, you’re trying to trick them into finally doing that thing you’ve been trying to convince them to do for the past six months. If you haven’t used it yourself, it goes something like this: You’re four! You’re a big kid now and you get to go to sleep / use the big toilet / put your toys away all by yourself! Yay! I told Hannah that in our house, five year olds get dressed by themselves, four year olds wipe their own bums and three year olds walk, they don’t ride in the stroller.
My son Jacob turned three years old just over a month ago. If I were being fair, I would have kicked him out of the stroller on his birthday. I was more or less planning on it, and even went so far as to unfold the stroller so that I could clean it before I put it in storage, but then I had second thoughts about the whole thing. Perhaps it’s because Jacob’s currently my last baby, and so I’m clinging to his infancy with all I have. It could be. But there are also some key differences between our family situation on Jacob’s third birthday and our family situation on Hannah’s third birthday.
Hannah, in her stroller-riding days
Reasons I Kicked Hannah Out of the Stroller at Three
- I was three months pregnant, and I planned to use the stroller for the new baby. I wanted a time buffer between the time that Hannah stopped using it, and the time that the new baby started.
- Hannah wouldn’t really ride in the stroller for long stretches of time anyway.
- We rarely walked anywhere, because trying to walk somewhere with an uncooperative three year old is Not Fun.
One year old Jacob visiting the Vancouver Farmers Market in his stroller
Reasons I am not Kicking Jacob Out of the Stroller at Three
- I am not currently pregnant, and I have no immediate plans to change that.
- At least four times every week Jacob comes along on the walk up to Hannah’s school for pick-up or drop-off. We are nearly always in a rush, and he’s not exactly good at walking quickly and with purpose.
- On the walk to school and back I have two kids and a whole bunch of stuff. If I strap Jacob into the stroller and stow the stuff in the stroller’s basket the trip goes much more smoothly than if I’m trying to keep a three year old safe around traffic while I’m also overloaded with Hannah’s schoolwork / water bottle / money for the pizza day.
Jacob, yesterday, peaking out from under the stroller’s sunshade
There was a time when I had very strong opinions on the appropriate age for a child to ride in a stroller. It probably goes without saying that this time was back in the days before I had children. When I would see a three, four or five year old (or, more likely, a kid who just looked three, four or five) being pushed around I would cluck my tongue and say things like, “You never saw kids that big riding in strollers when we were young.” As if the 1980s was the Golden Age of Good Parenting.
Now I have two kids of my own, and practical considerations to take into account, and I know that sometimes life is not so simple. So you make the best of things and push your three year old around in a stroller. It works for me right now, so I’m sticking with it for the time being.
What about you? How old were your kids when they stopped using the stroller? And did you find that your standards changed from child-to-child? I’d love to hear!
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My youngest turned 3 in July and I usually keep her in a stroller while walking with all 3 of my kids because it’s just easier to have 1 of them contained. Yesterday, however, was the very first day I let her walk sans stroller up to the bus stop to wait for her brothers. It went smoothly enough that I now think the stroller might be making its way to storage soon. I’ll be sad to see it go, but it’s time.
C @ Kid Things’s last post … Setting the Scene
My eldest was in his stroller well into his third year and I have no plans on ditching the stroller for my soon three-year-old either. For a few reasons: we walk a lot – it is our main mode of transportation living without a car and on a slow day we walk at least 8 km and quite often we are trekking a lot longer than that. That is a long walk for a little one and I don’t have the time (patience is perhaps the more accurate word) to do it at toddler speed. I am a fast walker and enjoy keeping a nice pace. Not having a car also means that when we are visiting friends or are out late for other reasons we can’t just stow the sleeping kids in the car for the trip home, but they can rest in the stroller. Also I feel it is safer in a high traffic situation to have at least one kid safely strapped away. Finally, I don’t like to carry heavy loads. I couldn’t carry the two-year-old the whole way and I just plain don’t want to carry groceries and school supplies whilst trying to keep a hold of little hands at the same time. Anyone having a problem with that can get out of their car and give me a hand…
Megan has been kicked out of the stroller for a while – she’s three and three quarters years old (as she says:). Like the situation with Hannah though, she has a younger sister, so Emily needs the stroller. I have been building her up for long walks though, and since being on maternity leave make Megan walk or run-bike to and from daycare (2.2km from home) several times a week, and have gotten her on some short (3-4km) hikes. Three year olds have great endurance, they just need to build up to it. I’d say for the walks to school, if YOU wear a backpack for all that stuff, then Jacob will have to walk, and he will! Eventually. The first daycare commute by foot took over an hour. It was torture for me!! Now it’s easy though, and Megan by being forced to walk or run-bike, knows the rules of the road (finally…ish) enough to be trusted to ride waaaay ahead of me and stop at any street or alley.
All that aside, I may be much less dogmatic about this by the time Emily is three, just like you!!!
eva’s last post … August 25, 2011. Eleven Months. Bittersweet.
I have a 5 yr old and 3 yr old and am approaching the last double stroller expedition. Once the snow flies, it will be the end. I do get the looks, but people often don’t think about why a 5 yr old might be in a stroller. I remember reading about an autistic child who was much happier in it especially while traveling even at very “old” age for a stroller. My 5 yr old didn’t walk until 34 months and even now a long distance tires her out, but you wouldn’t know it to look at her to guess that she has cerebral palsy.
Enjoying the musings on jacob’s growing independence, my little guy keeps reminding me, “I’m not little, mama, I’m big”
We have the same stroller!!! It’s really good at carrying six packs of beer up hills (not that I know). My kids
are the same age gap, but 7 and 4 now, and occasionally, the 4 year old this spring would still insist on jumping in and falling asleep in the 5 minute walk to school. Enjoy the stroller days (and portable, semi-infinite storage – you can always squash another something or other under there) while they last. Your stroller looks in much better condition. What will you do with the carseat/baby bucket part?
Twitter: AmberStrocel
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I am not ready to give up on the possibility of having a third baby, so for now it’s safely stored in my crawlspace.
Ah – of course. Good to keep options open.
Twitter: Wendy_Irene
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ummm, mine haven’t stopped. Even my 5 year old gets really, really tired
Wendy Irene’s last post … Happiness Quotations: Gentle Reminders of Your Preciousness by Erica Nelson
We have a Joovy Caboose that my 4-year-old still rides, either sitting or standing in the back. And if we’re out shopping, I LOVE to put them in a cart. It’s a heck of a lot better than having two hands to hold or letting them run wild in opposite directions!
But yes, I specifically recall saying, at Disney World once, how kids over 3 or 4 shouldn’t be wheeled around everywhere. These days I’d do it in a heartbeat because I wouldn’t want my short-legged little kid exhausted two hours into the day.
Jenny’s last post … We are not bored.
Have you considered a wagon? They are good for taking places like the farm market, etc. because you can stick bigger kids in them when they get tired, their gear, stuff you buy there, or all three! I’ve given several as family holiday gifts. I look for the wagons that have side rails that come off so you can stow everything in the trunk of a car.
Condo Blues’s last post … Four Recycled Bathroom Organizers
Twitter: AmberStrocel
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We have a wagon, but it doesn’t fit into my trunk. Also, it’s much harder to pull a wagon around than it is to push a stroller. I’m not sure I could make it up the hill to my daughter’s school pulling the wagon. When my son really does outgrow the stroller, he’ll be walking.
I’m a stroller fan. If figure that every moment my son (25 months) is in a stroller, we are not in a car. It takes significant bribery to ge him in but well worth the treats
harriet Fancott’s last post … Standing out in a crowd
Twitter: AmberStrocel
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It’s definitely true that if using the stroller allows you to walk rather than taking the car, you’re reducing your carbon footprint.
This is totally personal preference. When other people start judging each other on their choice to use or stroller, I think it’s time to get a new hobby. Wagons are all well and good, but when my cousin took her kid to Disney last year, at almost 5 years old, it wouldn’t have been a very good option. Kids get worn out, and tired, and fall asleep in the strollers or wagons. Had they used the wagon her excessively tall daughter would have been dragging her feet on the ground. So they rented a stroller. Those Disney strollers are pretty massive, and provided the leg room the girl needed, and they didn’t have to worry about her foot getting stepped on or rolled over. Why should they have to cut their day short just to avoid people judging her for putting her kid in a stroller when she got worn out?
If you see someone beating their child senseless on the street, judge away, but if they are using a stroller, please pick your battles, seriously…
Twitter: bitterindigo
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What Snarky Mom said. I remember someone with a six-year-old autistic child who didn’t walk writing about being criticized for having her child in a stroller and it made me want to spit tacks. I brought the stroller to pick Eve up from junior kindergarten when she was four because we live over a kilometre from the school and she couldn’t always make it the whole way and I could stow her backpack. Anyone who doesn’t like that can suck it.
allison’s last post … Friday Funny
My kids usually quit around 3 or 4. I have a 2 year old right now, and I’m decidedly not ready to give it up, although she’s pretty good at walking a mile or so. There are plenty of times when I consider it the best option. We’re going to the fair this weekend, and the choice would be to use the stroller, use the toddler leash or hope that she cooperates for once in having her hand held for long periods. She loves to run off, so I prefer to have a little more control, plus a way to keep her happy when she inevitably gets tired. I’ve usually gotten more complements than criticisms on the leash, thank goodness, and only use that in crowded or distracting situations.
Strollers are great for keeping little hands out of mischief in many situations. Other times they’re really inconvenient. Even so, I won’t be willing to give it up completely for a while yet.
Stephanie – Encourage Their Talents’s last post … Why Should You Play Soccer With Your Kids in the Backyard?
I love your post! I was always quick to pass that kind of judgement, too, until my friend’s kid developed a brain tumor. She is 5, she looks 6, but she’s back in a stroller because she can’t walk very well anymore. Yet a month ago, you couldn’t tell that she was handicapped unless you stopped to talk to her or saw her walk. So to anyone else, she just looked like a kid way too big for her stroller. It changed my perspective. Everyone has their own story, their own challenges and their own reasons to use or not use a stroller.
Twitter: Miss_Scarlett99
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Use of our stroller stopped essentially last Sept after our trip to Disneyland. We don’t go enough places to need a stroller and Amelia pretty much decided that she was done.
I was VERY tempted to bring it to the PNE this year, if for nothing else than to carry our crap, but then I thought I’d have to worry about parking it at venues and still pulling off all our crap so it stayed home.
I suspect it will go up on Craigslist soon. I rather doubt I’ll have a need for it in the future…and if i DO need another stroller, well, I guess I’ll just go buy a new one
Carrie’s last post … Lessons 2
Adam and Caity were out pretty fast, BUT we always kept an cheap umbrella stroller handy for the ‘too tired’ moments.
Now with jogging strollers etc…I tend to use that or the wagon for Tara for getting to school to pick up bro and sis..but she also walks most of the way too.
I do like to encourage them to walk at an early age…and teach about walking safety etc….but like you..for the school trips…it just speeds things up a bit.
Twitter: jenarbo
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I dislike the stroller – getting it out of the basement to the street was a pain. So when we moved here July 2010 (Kale was 2) we basically stopped using it. He’s light and I’ve only got one kid so when he got tired he would go in my shoulders. Now he’s 3 and I see the umbrella stroller has a layer of dust. I can be kind of judge-y when I see older kids in strollers – but I keep those comments to myself and remind myself that I don’t know the whole story.
Jen’s last post … Dresser
Twitter: AmberStrocel
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I felt the same way when I had only one kid. But now I have two, and more compromises need to be made. In this case, if I took the time to walk with Jacob to school Hannah would either be late or my non-morning-kid would have to wake up even earlier to get to school on time. I don’t use the stroller with him every time we walk to school, but when we’re running late and he’s in a bad mood, it’s just another example of how I have to balance the needs of both kids – and the needs of myself, too.
Twitter: jenarbo
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This is so true. There are a lot of things I can get away with or make do with because I’ve got one. Ross and I joke that when you have one kid and two parents its an even playing field, it you add one more kid the odds are always in the kids’ favour. I always thought I’d have two, but I think we’re leaning to only one now. Rules for parenting: whatever gets you through the night, whatever gets you through the day, whatever works for you.
Jen’s last post … Dresser
My 3 1/4 yo still rides in the stroller.. because we’re a one-car family, and I don’t drive. So when we walk to the library or the park, it’s a round trip of several miles (I’ve tracked it by GPS), and while she loves to “run” part of the way, I refuse to force her to walk what might be a 5 mile trip. She can easily do a mile or more, but even our neighborhood library is a three mile round trip, and she’s just not there. I suspect I may be able to kick her out entirely in the next year or so, when the baby gets too heavy to put on my back comfortably.. but we’re fine now as is.
Katie B.’s last post … Letters to My Littles: August 2011
We have a 5 yo, a 3 yo and no car. So when we are walking far or it is the middle of a cold winter I have no problem putteig both kids in a double stroller. It is way easier then trying to make the bus routes work.
Capital Mom’s last post … Blissdom Canada
My almost 5yo still rides in the double stroller sometimes. Just depends on the situation and what is easiest for all of us. I think your use is totally justified.
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