Too Big to Carry
Baby Jacob is 14 months old today, and weighs in at around 22 lbs. He’s not even really a baby anymore, but a young toddler who sometimes prefers to walk. Or, you know, toddle. Which I guess is what makes him a toddler, right?
In spite of Jacob’s walking ways, there are many occasions when he still uses me as his primary mode of transportation. But now that he’s not exactly a baby when strangers see him in the baby carrier I get rather a lot of comments. They say something along the lines of, “He must be getting kind of heavy for you to carry that way,” or, “Wow, that must get uncomfortable after a while.”
Actually, I am not uncomfortable. I’m probably much less uncomfortable than I would be if I were chasing my destructo-child around the Starbucks, you know? When he’s really snuggled in close in the mei tai it’s as if he’s holding on. His weight is well-distributed and he’s fine. I suppose if your only carrier were a Baby Bjorn, or maybe even a ring sling, it wouldn’t be that comfortable to wear a 22-pound child for long stretches. But I have options, and I’m not afraid to use them.
It is true that I carry Jacob less these days, mostly because he’s able to move under his own steam in a new way. I do not keep him strapped to me on the playground like I did when he was a newborn, for sure. When we’re at the playground he’s joining in the play. But at the grocery store, or the mall, or sometimes in my own kitchen, I still wear Jacob. And I’m glad to do it. Because while he’s strapped to me, I know that he’s safe and not getting into any trouble, at least for that moment.
I don’t know when Jacob will outgrow babywearing. Hannah stopped wanting to be worn when she was nearing age 2, but then she came back to it a few times. I finally put the kibosh on it when I was pregnant with Jacob and she was 3 years old. Jacob may have some years of babywearing yet, or he may have only a few months. But as long as we’re both willing and able, I’ll keep on using my baby carriers. After all, he’s only young once, and I certainly will not be carrying him forever.
So, when someone asks me if I’m uncomfortable, I smile and tell them the truth. I am just fine, and maybe a little relieved that babywearing is still working for us. And then if they’re still listening I start extolling the virtues of traditional baby carriers and writing down website names. I admit it, I might not exactly know when to stop talking all the time. It’s part of my charm, I think. 
What about you? How old was your child when you stopped babywearing? And how did that decision come about? I’m curious to hear some other experiences.
I wish I could still use my Kozy Karrier with my son, but once he was crawling, the minute I would “strap him on” he would simply wriggle and complain. He just wanted to move! So I reluctantly loaned it to someone. I miss the flour covered baking sessions, and the snuggled, sleeping child that I took to vote last year when we had our Federal election.
I have never criss-crossed it over my chest like you have it. That make have been more comfortable than the X that made my boobs look like I was impersonating Madonna.
Must try that next time.
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i don’t have all your options, but lilah is 13 months and still sometimes must be worn in the kitchen if we want to eat.
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Wee Guy and I were still joined at the hip until he was 3y or more. Our options were a ring sling (with a padded shoulder) and a frame backpack for hiking.
We enjoyed hanging around together in the ring sling for the longest – it was best for him sitting on my hip and we went thru a few airport transits that way. I have v fond memories of him sitting on my hip like this as we strode thru our daily life.
Yes, I would do it again but no, it won’t be repeated 
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I had to give up putting Emilia in a carrier when she was just a few months old. She is a very big baby (now around 24lbs at 10 months old) and would only be carried on my front. My poor back just hurt all the time! Nowadays I only carry her in my arms (ie no carrier) and I sit her down whenever possible. I can’t wait until she can move around under her own steam and my back muscles can start healing themselves!!
I’d rather carry my daughter in a sling or backpack when she passes out on me far from home and she is four now. (she’s a napper) Its much easier to get her home in a carrier than her dead weight in my arms!
I saw a woman carrying a kid in a Ergo, the woman wasn’t tall but the kids legs were nearly touching the ground. She must have been nine or ten! that’s devotion. or insanity 
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I’m definitely still going strong with the ring sling (hip carry) for my 18 month old! She’s not as crazy about back carries in the mei tai or Ergo, though; I wish she were.
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I LOVE baby carriers, and slings, etc…. but my babies were not as keen on them as I. And frankly, neither was my wimpy back, and tender shoulder (sprained during labour, never quite healed right). They were fantastic during those first few months when my slightly preemy babes were better wrapped to my front, nursing happened so spontaneously! But they never did take to being worn “away” from me on a backpack and they very quickly got too heavy and squirmy for front wearing with my bad lower back…. ah well, all the fantasies of what motherhood would be can’t come true, eh?
I envy the duration you have kept this up, and I am jealous of how you can “keep track” of them so well– my toddlers were into EVERYTHING in a flash! And the only way they would tolerate being carried was if it involved both arms and 100% of my attention (not the best for getting things done in the grocery store or the kitchen!). There are so many bonuses to that set up! Good exercise, keeping them safe, bonding time, they really can observe how mommy does stuff, conversation, they feel wanted, you feel wanted, you get to keep them off those disgusting shopping carts for a while longer — all sorts of great side effects!
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I think he looks happy and comfortable on your back, and certainly not to big to be carried!
Oh, that is so awesome Amber! I still wear my nearly 21-month-old in my Beco Butterfly (love it!) all the time – it is very comfortable. Since she is more and more independent now, I often let her walk and wear my 4 year old on my back, too! He loves it, and so do I
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Twenty-two pounds at 14 months? Cripes, I think Angus came out almost that big (kidding — kinda). The carriers didn’t work that great for me — I didn’t know about all the options and my back and shoulders are iffy too. I would have done it in a second if it had been possible. The few times I wore Eve in the sling were awesome.
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I guess McKenna was 7 months old when I had to stop wearing her.I would have liked longer of course
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My children are hefty. When they were 12 months they weighed 26 pounds. My two year old weighs 33 lbs right now. I stopped carrying them both between 12-18 months. It just got too hard and they really wanted to walk as soon as they were more than capable of doing so. I only had a ring sling for my first one so was happy to stop. My back killed me even when she was an infant after half an hour or so. For my second I had a Moby Wrap. Ah. That was much better.
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Jacob looks so happy, all cuddled up against your back. Buster is approaching 18 months and wants to walk most of the time. Now and again, he’ll conceded that he’s tired and say, “up! up!” When I hold him on my hip, he hangs onto my arm pretty well, but there’s only so long I can hold a 25 pound baby with one arm!
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This topic makes me sad. I loved carrying my babes and now my littlest is 21 months and pretty much done. Last time she was sick a couple of weeks ago I got away with sneaking her back into the ergo for about 20 minutes. I loved it and so did she. But on average, she doesn’t want to be carried anymore, because she can walk just fine, thank you very much!
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I like your charm, what’s that website name again:)?
He looks very cozy snuggled up against his mom! I never used baby carriers much beyond the newborn stage, I found that indoors they were good only if I was on the go all the time (and I have a small house), and I stopped using them outdoors the day I slipped and fell on top of my baby (we do have a steep and nasty little walk up to the house, but by 18 months of age they could all walk it up and down)!
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We still carry our daughter (14 months) a lot. Especially when out and about (she’s never been in a stroller) and when she really wants to be held and dinner needs to be prepared.
I’ll be sad when the baby wearing is over, but I guess we carried our son occasionally till he was almost 3, so maybe we’ve got a while left.
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Its funny. I never get more comments from strangers than when I am wearing my baby in public. I say wear him as long as the two of you are comfortable with it!!
I wore a sling as a permanent accessory until my son was about 3 1/2 or so. It didn’t work for me until he was about 6 mos. but from then on, I was never without it. He never rode in grocery carts, and we traveled without a stroller most of the time. As he got bigger and heavier, it was great to have the extra support of the sling.
Ava was a little over 2.5 years. I was 7 months pregnant and it was getting uncomfortable to tie the wrap above the belly. Under it I hated.
Peyton lived in carriers for several months but I rarely wear her these days and she isn’t even 2. I think I stopped doing it regularly after she started to walk at 13 months and wanted to chase after big sister instead.
Hey Amber,
I love how you wrap your mei tie! I do a criss cross across the chest and I love the support but can’t stand how my “parts” are on display ALL the time. Can you show/tell me how you wrap yours like that?