It’s Thursday and I’m Crafting my Life! May’s theme is recognizing our innate awesomeness. Because we are awesome. In the past few weeks I wrote about how moms are awesome, how making stuff is awesome and how having no plan is awesome. This week, I’m talking about how trying is awesome – as in trying again, and trying new things. So read on, and try to follow me.
Not everything that I do works out. I have baked cookies that were terrible, failed exams and not gotten the job I was really hoping for. I have given talks that bombed and I have written blog posts that, frankly, just didn’t work. I have had my fair share of less-than-stellar parenting moments and petty arguments with my husband. Some of my knitting projects would be better suited to an anorexic baboon than the person I created them for. And I am, quite possibly, the world’s worst bowler.
Failure sucks. It totally, totally sucks. Failure often leaves me feeling like it would be better to have never tried at all. Why put yourself out there and take the risk if it’s only going to end badly? Why veer from your safe and comfortable path, when all that lies beyond it is epic embarrassment?
This fear of failure, this desire to avoid pain, led me to seek a very safe and comfortable life. I was very, very good. Being good, it seems, was what I did best. I followed instructions meticulously, filled out every box on every form I was ever handed, and kept on top of my email. I tried to do what was expected of me, and then I waited around for someone to notice. I did not put myself out there, if there was any possible way to avoid it. And it worked, until it didn’t. Until I learned that avoiding risk did not guarantee that nothing bad would ever happen.
Now I am trying to create a different life for myself, and I have had to confront a lot of my fears. I have tried new things, things that I am maybe not so good at on my first attempt. I have had to become comfortable with self-promotion, and I have (mostly) accepted that mistakes and setbacks are a natural part of learning and growing. It is still hard, because my lizard brain is not a fan of being noticed or risking public embarrassment. But it is not as hard as it used to be.
Here’s the thing that I’ve learned through this process. It’s not about how good you are at everything you try. It’s not about your natural charisma or your innate talent. It’s just about the trying. It takes something to keep at it, to keep trying, when success is far from guaranteed. It takes someone pretty awesome to dust themselves off after a failure and try again. And again. And again.
Along the way, as you try and try again, you learn a lot. You discover who you really are. You face your fears and insecurities and you address them. You learn which risks are worth taking and which ones aren’t. And, if you try enough times, you may just succeed. The secret to success, I’ve come to believe, does not lie in inborn brilliance that some people just have. It lies in the trying, and the learning, and the boundary-pushing. It lies in putting your dreams out there, and finding people who feel the same way you do.
So, yes, trying is awesome. It’s not easy and it’s not always fun, but it is awesome. Every time that you try, every time that you put your authentic self out there for the world to see, you’re awesome, too. Even if it doesn’t feel that way, it’s the truth. It takes something to try, and you deserve credit for that. Maybe I do, too. So here’s to trying, and here’s to us!
Tell me, what hard thing do you do that makes you feel awesome? I’d love to hear.
Now it’s your turn. Have you written a post about your own awesomeness? If so, enter the details below. And whether you have or not, go check out these other blogs for some inspiration or helpful advice.
that’s a very good post Amber. You shouldn’t worry so much, cause you are definitely AWESOME
Any woman who can make homemade ice cream is awesome…somehow I think even an ice cream failure would in the end be awesome cause, hey, it’s ICE CREAM!
.-= Carrie´s last post ..An Open Letter to Motorcycle Riders =-.
failure + taking risks + blogging + sense of humour = awesomeness
the ability to laugh at your own mistakes + learn from them = priceless
Sometimes even getting out of bed in the morning can be pretty darn awesome
.-= pomomama aka ebbandflo´s last post ..wordless wednesday: i don’t just rant, i make stuff too =-.
I have no awesome post to linkup because I feel so un-awesome right now, which really points to the fact that I ought to write a post about that. All I have to add is Woody Allan’s oft-quoted maxim that 80% (or was that 90?) of success is showing up. I guess the trick is what to show up to.
I do like how you turned failure around. I am a seriously bad baker and cook. Why? Because I WING everything, and not well. I substitute, make do, work around, and every once in a while I hit on a winner, which I can never replicate because I have no idea what I just did! As for knitting, I ma still knitting my baby blanket – one row a night has become three rows a week so hopefully by Christmas. Ok I’m making myself laugh now. I really am too awesome for words (except for my black box photo, which is so not awesome… oh here we go…)
.-= harrietglynn´s last post ..Making Redirects Permanent =-.
My husband’s away and I’ve managed to keep my kids fed, clothed, studied and at baseball. And I pulled together a very satisfactory book club meeting last night even though I totally forgot I was hosting. So last night I was feeling pretty awesome. Today? A little hungover and messy kitchen and sleeeepy. So not as awesome. BUT still pulled my ass out of bed and took the kids to school and went for an hour-and-a-half walk. So still kind of awesome. Let’s go with that.
.-= allison´s last post ..*****************Wordless Wednesdays: Take Me Out to the… =-.
I have yet to write a post about my awesomeness. But, I am currently crafting a post in my brain about how I am the nighttime super hero at my house. Being a night time super hero is pretty awesome.
I am new to this whole blogging thing. I love reading other people’s blogs and wanted to write my own, but for the longest time I was too afraid. I thought, do I have anything important to say? Would people think I am crazy to write about my life?
But I love the creative outlet it provides for me and how it makes me look at things through a whole different lense.
Thanks for the great post. I love your Crafting My Life posts.
.-= Lisa´s last post ..Run Up for Down Syndrome =-.
I tried to pat myself on the back here:
http://coiledtospring.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-feel-like-dirt.html
but it ended up being a little bit of a pity, party, too.
This is one AWESOME post. Very inspiring…I’m so glad you are putting yourself out there and trying. And you are right. Trying is the key to succeeding, just like the secret to getting ahead is getting started;) hahah!
Some weeks it feels like just making it to Friday is a triumph. Having the strength to try something new or hard take an extra push, but I’m so glad when I do.
.-= Lady M´s last post ..Raising Polite Little Hoodlums =-.
Great post Amber! All I can think of at the moment is my favourite Homer Simpson quote: “If something is hard it’s not worth doing.” That one always makes me giggle because I often feel that way no matter how ridiculous it sounds…and then I’m reminded that hard stuff and failing and trying anyway is super awesome.
.-= BluebirdMama´s last post ..Are YOU awesome? =-.
I haven’t felt awesome in a while … but I keep trying, because ultimately I believe that it’s better to regret something we did than regretting having only just thought about doing something.
Awesome series, Amber, can’t wait for the following topic next week.
.-= Francesca´s last post ..Friday’s flowers ~ commemoration bouquet =-.
Given this post, and a lot of the other things you’ve written as part of this month’s theme, I really think you would LOVE the book Raising Happiness by Christine Carter. Amber, I can’t recommend it highly enough.
.-= Christine LaRocque´s last post ..Am I there yet? =-.
Awesome post Amber
I haven’t written a post about how awesome I am or even had time to think about this. I still struggle every day with my new life as stay at home mom (or work at home mom) – even though it’s been 2 long years since making the decision to quit the office job.
My friends are now starting to have kids of their own and when they find out about the decision I made to quit and leave the engineering world for a bit (I myself don’t know how long I will stay away – I haven’t planned that part of my life out yet
) – some are shocked and wonder why I’d even do something like this, and the majority are supportive.
So every week I pat myself on the back for surviving another week but then there are moments when I still lack confidence to say “This is 100% what I want to do and I’m ok with it no matter what other people say”.
Funny how this post came up as I was reading Hannah “The Little Engine That Could” last night to her. Weird how I teach her to be confident but I’m not so confident myself. Working on it!
Looking forward to more of this series!
.-= Cheryl @ Mommy Quit´s last post ..Freebies Galore =-.
Oooh forgot to say… I’ve tried tons of things over the past 2 years. Have a regular exercise routine, start a business, sew baby items, start a blog, expand my financial knowledge etc… while it makes me feel awesome, it also makes me very very tired. HA.
.-= Mommy Quit´s last post ..Freebies Galore =-.
The last time I tried to bowl, I injured my right butt-muscle so badly I limped for three days. You and I should hold a Worst Bowler Bowl-off. We could sell tickets. Post the vids to Youtube.
.-= Kirsten´s last post ..Work continues apace =-.