As I write this I am waiting on hold. I have been waiting on hold for 27 minutes already, and I’ve heard the instrumental piano song they have on repeat about 3756 times. It’s no longer soothing. I think it may become the soundtrack of my nightmares. Every time it winds down at the end and pauses before re-starting I think that someone’s answering my call. But no, no such luck for me. In fact, since it is 12:30pm as I write this I’m rather afraid that the person I want to talk to has forgotten about me and gone off for lunch.
While I’ve been on hold I’ve been wondering – what is it about being on hold, exactly, that is so anxiety provoking? I totally, totally hate this, and I know I’m not the only one. But it’s not like it’s painful or dangerous. You can even set the phone to ‘speaker’ and wash the dishes while you wait. It’s just a minor inconvenience in the course of your day, waiting to speak with someone who is otherwise engaged.
I have a few theories as to what it is about being on hold that is so awful:
The Traffic Theory
I hate being in traffic even more than I hate being on hold. It’s a really powerless feeling. You’re trapped in your car in a long line of cars and there’s likely no way out of it. If you want to get to your destination you just have to be patient and creep forward inch by excruciating inch. But the thing about traffic is it’s not like you can just zone out completely and take a nap or read a book. OK, there are probably other drivers you’ve witnessed doing exactly that, but I think we can all agree it’s a bad idea. In spite of the tedium you need to pay attention because you’re in control of thousands of pounds of metal.
Being on hold is the same as being stuck in traffic because it’s outside of your control. You are at the mercy of fate if you want to accomplish the task at hand. And you have to pay sufficient attention so that you don’t miss your call. Not. Fun.
The Bad Call Theory
Very rarely, or never, am I making a call I really want to make when I’m stuck on hold. I’m usually trying to sort out a problem or question with the cable company or the phone company. I might even be really cheesed off because my internet is down and that’s my lifeline, man, don’t mess with it. Or maybe I’m making an appointment with the doctor or dentist. Really, who wants to go to the dentist?
Being on hold when you’re already irritated or don’t really want to make the call in the first place is like pouring salt in the wound. No wonder we hate it so much.
The Muzak Theory
When you’re on hold you’re usually subjected to some sort of ‘music’. It’s never good, and never what you would choose to listen to yourself. Often the sound quality is even poor and so along with Girl from Ipanema you’re hearing annoying cracks and pops. Sometimes they even do this horrible thing where they cut into the music every couple of minutes with a recorded voice reminding you how important your call is, and asking you to please be patient. This pause in the music causes you to leap to and grab the phone because you think your call is being answered. Only not.
What’s fun about bad music, recorded messages, and poor audio? Nothing, that’s what.
Anyways, my call was finally answered after 32 minutes on hold. And then when I tried to switch from speaker to handheld I cut her off. Go me! Luckily I was able to call back immediately and get the person I needed right away. I’m not sure I could have endured another 32 minutes, at least not today.
How about you? Do you hate being on hold as much as I do? Do you have any tips for avoiding it or passing the time? Do share!
Oh, the horror! I don't think our calls are important to them at all. If they were, there would be a few more people available to answer our calls. Yes, being on hold is like being in a horrible waiting room in hell.Great article! Laughed about the music. Why is it always so awful? Even worse is when they bombard you with ads trying to sell some product, usually financial…so insulting. I'm usually frothing by the time some hapless person gets to me. What a job that must be, dealing with frustrated people every day.
i sometimes call them with my cell so i don’t lose my spot just to see if i’ve been forgotten
.-= Emily R´s last post ..Slow down, you move too fast =-.
Nope. It sucks and it must be endured. I can never decide if it’s worse to then be answered by a rude, unpleasant person so I can continue to be pissed off, or by a sweet, nice-as-pie person so then I get shaken out of my grumpiness.
.-= Allison´s last post ..************How’s this for a ‘hmmph’ moment? =-.
I hate being on hold with the fire of 1000 suns. I don’t do lines well either.
.-= Nicole´s last post ..Rollin’, rollin’, rollin =-.
Oh how I abhor being on hold! I generally do some picking up around the house while holding. But another idea is to hold a conversation. I’ve heard from some friends who worked for call companies that the people who put you on hold can still listen to what is going on with your end of the line. Tell a story or pretend like you’re talking to someone. Make it ludicrous. Give the kiddos a good laugh
.-= Jennfer´s last post ..Counting Blessings =-.
I concur it’s the worst. I usually plunk myself down in front of my computer to read a blog or two while I wait….actually, I’m on hold right now! hehehe
I hate being on hold, too! Mostly because I’m dreading the person who answers. I ALWAYS seem to get a trainee who can’t answer my question or straighten out my problem, and then I end up on hold AGAIN!!!
.-= abbie´s last post ..Thinking about Babies =-.
I love the Girl from Ipanema. But when they interrupt the Stan Getz to tell me I’m still on hold, that’s brutal. Just let the song roll!
.-= Jon´s last post ..Art in the Park a Big Success =-.
Funny enough…I dont mind being on hold…I just put the phone on speaker and empty the dishwasher…or respond to emails…watch tv even…UNLESS i’m calling because I’m upset…because if I have experienced poor customer service and that is the reason for calling…then I add having to wait 30 plus minutes to my long list of complaints (which isnt that common)
I also dont mind being in traffic. When you are stuck…there is nothing you can do…so relax…listen to music….chat with the kids..roll down the windows. If traffic is really bad…then there is someone having a worse day than you (in most cases)
Too hippy-ish??
Thank god for headsets and speakerphones – otherwise, my neck would be permanently cramped.
“Customer service” experiences can be so bad that I’m almost surprised when someone polite and competent answers the phone.
.-= Lady M´s last post ..How To Spend a Summer Day =-.
There’s one thing I hate more than being on hold: going through recorded menus, listening to many options, never finding the right one for my problem, never being able to get a human being. Actually, there’s something I hate even more: listening to the recorded voice at my phone company explaining that I can check the status of my account on-line (and not bother them) when I call because my internet connection is down again.
.-= Francesca´s last post ..A white peach life =-.
I agree 100%. I hate being on hold too. Thank goodness for speaker phone or it would make being on hold unbearable.
The worse, and it happened just two weeks ago, I was on hold for 45 minutes then got hung up on. Aargh!
.-= Maria@Conversations with Moms´s last post ..Random Tuesday – Pot Roast, Reviews and Facebook =-.
Oh, my goodness, I would have been up a creek too if I had cut her off and no able to get back to her, lol! I don’t want it is with holds either, but it totally annoys me {us}. I don’t have speaker phone either, so double the annoyance.
Thanks for the entertaining theories!