And the exciting part about life is the process happens over and over. Enjoy it!

I’m debating doing something different or staying at home altogether (but finding a SAHM type of job to supplement, which is easier said than done).

If Hannah gets enjoyment from the daycare, I would still keep her in it. Don’t feel bad about it because I’m sure she’s getting a different experience than if she would at home. Plus, I’m sure she has a lot of friends that she would miss.

Whatever you decide, I know the decision will be out of love so it’ll be the right one for you and your family.

First of all, I think it’s terrible how many people go through life without the opportunity and/or the inclination to search for the life’s work that makes their heart sing. It’s terrible when you’re not free to search for that thing, and then it’s scary when you feel like you do have the opportunity and you’re not sure you’re up to it.

You’re one of the most active, thoughtful, creative and intelligent stay at home Moms I (sort of) know, and you seem like one of those people that will start some amazing business or trend while raising charming, artistic, well-rounded prodigies. I’ll try not to be too cranky and envious.

My oldest son is five, and I have been on leave for the full five years. Having my kids so close together, I chose not to go back to work between my births – I was pregnant with my second well before my first turned one and I felt so miserable I decided to extend my leave.

When I was younger (I am 35) I worked in writing, PR and marketing. It was a fun, exciting field of work but I felt something “missing”. I then went back to school to get my Education degree and became a teacher. Very fulfilling, yet a huge paycut for me. Long hours. I haven’t felt ready to tackle that yet, but like you, I often don’t know if I’m made for this SAHM stuff.

Now I am in the difficult situation of wanting to go back to work and not being able to afford three small kids in daycare on my salary. I finally begged for one more year leave from my school board, which they granted. So for now I am home one more year and will go back to work in Sept 2010 – at which point both my boys will be in school full days, leaving only the baby to pay for a full day of care.

I do yearn for more than being a mom many days. I sell some of my craft stuff and really love doing crafts – of course I don’t make much money but it keeps me busy. I’ve done a little freelance writing work in the past, and hope to possibly try some more of that in the coming year . . . but time is always an issue for me. My husband works a lot so caring for three kids (plus one more I am currently babysitting M-F) full time is completely exhausting me. I have very little left at the end of the day to do anything remotely productive lately.

See – you’re totally not alone . . . I think this is something many mothers struggle with – and no wonder, these are huge questions!!! Good luck!

And in the meantime, lots of snuggles with the little ones!

I too love to write and would love to figure out a way to make that make me some money – if you figure it all out let me know! I love being a sub bus driver in our little town. I can work when I want to, and I am paid well for it. Plus, the hours are fantastic and I can take the girls with me! It is a win win for everyone. I also help out a friend a couple of days a week by watching her 2 sons. They are close in age to the girls so really – they are entertainment for my own children. I still have the time to go to playground, the library and Emma’s preschool – plus, lake season is just around the corner and I don’t want to miss out on that.

What about your sewing ventures? You are an artist at heart it seems…gardening, crafting, culinary….have you thought about making that work for you….it seems to be a real passion for you.

If you ask Steve, it is hard sometimes being the sole bread winner for 5. There are things we would like to have but don’t, a newer car, better home renovations. But, I don’t think I would want to trade these days with the girls for better things.

I too worry about what I will do when they are in school full time – because I don’t plan on sitting on my ass at home all day (yikes). I think I would still like to stick close to home and I hope that being a full time driver for our village will be an option by then. Those hours and work days work wonderful in my mind. Don’t forget how young you are and how educated and skilled you are too. And, don’t forget, Hannah will be going to kindergarten sooner than later and you won’t be having to pay for her to go to daycare.

It is hard to think about stepping out of the work force as anything but limiting yourself. And, I can definately see two sides to it, and I don’t think it is wrong for a mom to want to work. It is just too bad we weren’t compentsated in some way for all the work we do in the home raising these children…that would be sweet!

But you have to follow your heart, find your passion. If it’s staying home, then stay home. If it’s finding a new job, then do that.

If you enjoy writing, what about submitting some articles to parenting magazines? My mom did that when we were little. She worked as an editor/journalist/photographer until she had me when she was 23. Then she stayed home with us, while working on the farm, submitting article, writing a children’s book (that she still says she’ll get published someday…), and volunteering on the school board. When I was in high school, she went back to college at 40 years old. Now she’s an elementary school teacher and has found her new passion. I share her story because it really shows that you can do and be many different things in your lifetime. You can have more than one passion, and find more things that are fulfilling. Hope that helps you out