You know that old saying, “You can take a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink?” I recently learned that another way of stating that is, “You can take a toddler to the dentist, but you can’t make him open his mouth.”
Jacob demonstrates what he did when the dentist asked him to open his mouth
I have taken my kids to the dentist many times. From what I understand, the current recommendation is that you take your child to the dentist by the time they reach age one. I did not do this. I sort of meant to do this, but by the time I got around to scheduling the appointments my kids were 20 months or so. My daughter Hannah’s first dental visit lasted all of about three minutes, and she screamed the whole time, even though she was sitting on my lap. It sort of worked out though, because it made it super-easy to see her teeth.
Things only improved from there. By the time that Hannah was on her third appointment she was a dental visit star. She opened wide on command, sat still and generally cooperated. And her teeth were great. She’s never had any cavities, or even any signs of significant decay, and I’m constantly praised for what a good job I’m doing keeping her teeth clean. I lapped it up, and felt quite proud of myself.
My little star in the dentist’s play area
There’s another piece of wisdom you might have heard, and it goes something like, “Pride goeth before the fall.” Another way of saying that is, “Some kids just have bad teeth.” Teeth are actually formed in utero, beginning somewhere between the sixth and eighth weeks of pregnancy. When baby teeth come in, they can already show signs of decay. This is what happened with Jacob. His two front teeth had white spots on them from the beginning, and I don’t know why. Maybe that ultrasound I had early in his pregnancy messed with his teeth, or maybe I wasn’t getting enough calcium when I had extreme first trimester nausea. All I know is that in spite of the fact that I cared for my kids’ teeth in the same way, one of them has “good” teeth and one of them has “bad” teeth.
Luckily, though, Jacob was easy-going and cooperative during his first two dental visits. I want to keep an eye on the decay, and do whatever I can to ensure it doesn’t get worse, because if Jacob needs a filling at this point it would likely mean sedation. So, whatever I can do to delay any possible dental procedures is a good thing. But for whatever reason, at his appointment last week Jacob decided that the gloves were off. He was not going to open his mouth for the dentist, no matter what. No way, no how. He closed his mouth (and his eyes for good measure) and settled in for the long haul.
Jacob checks out the trains in the dentist’s play area
Perhaps the issue was that we had reluctantly removed Jacob from the dentist’s awesome play area (complete with Jacob’s favourite thing ever – a train table) for his appointment. Who wants to lie in a chair while the dentist checks out your teeth when there are so many fun toys nearby? Perhaps it was just a 2-year-old demonstration of will. But whatever it was, there was no convincing Jacob to change his mind. I tried, the dentist tried, the hygienist tried. Jacob was resolute.
In the end, the dentist said that we would just have to try again in six months. She was really very relaxed about the whole thing, which I appreciated. But all the same, I didn’t make my kid a dentist appointment so that he could flatly refuse to participate. We’ll just hope he’s feeling more cooperative when he’s three than he was feeling at two and a half.
Have you ever had a child refuse to cooperate with a dental or other kind of appointment? What happened? And did things change when they got older? Tell me all about it!
I actually called a few dentists about appointments when V was about 18mo and I was told “don’t bother until she is 3 OR if you notice and issue”. So V had her first visit at 2.5 because we noticed spots on her front teeth. Turns out it was pitting and discoloration, possibly due to some antibiotics.
She has always been a dentist star, perfectly willing to open her mouth. I think it was because we waited until she was older. Frankly, that whole 1yr thing sounds like a bit of a cash grab. How many 1yr olds ACTUALLY make it a fun visit? Probably 1%
V is due again in Aug and I’ll book her sister in for her first visit then too. Hopefully she will follow in her sister’s footsteps and be a dentist superstar.
Lord knows I hated those visits with a PASSION as a child. I was also one of those kids with “bad teeth”
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We didn’t bring Madelyn to the dentist until she was almost 3. She did great and still does great at the dentist. She’s even had a filling because she is our kid with the bad teeth. I attribute most of this to a book called “Just going to the Dentist” by Mercer Mayer which I read to her several times before she went to the dentist. My youngest has told me that “she doesn’t want that man looking in her mouth” but is always good for the hygenist and dentist when we are there. Our dentist does not have a cool play area – instead there are TV’s on the ceiling above the chair. I get anxiety going to the dentist and find the tv’s a welcome distraction. I hope that Jacob will come around once he’s a little older.
Our dentist won’t see kids until they’re 5. So my oldest is the only one who’s been seen so far. He did great, but refused to let the dentist clean his teeth the first time. The dentist also won’t allow us to go back to the room with the kids. Which is going to be interesting when it’s my just-turned 5 year old’s turn to go. But hey, if they want to play things that way. Yeah, I’m not expecting a great deal of progress coming from that one.
C @ Kid Things’s last post … Starting Points
My dentist recommended “around 3 unless there’s an issue” and gave me some things to look for. My husband has near perfect teeth and it is me with a mouth full of metal, chronic sensitivity, and previous orthodontics. Kale is coming with me to an appointment in a few weeks to watch (I am getting magical desensitization potion painted on a particular tooth so it will be a 10 minute appointment) plus we have a book about first experiences and there is one about the dentist so I am hoping he sees it as just another thing we do. I am also thankful the dentist has a rather pathetic play area – a bead toy and a few ratty blocks – so that the toys aren’t that attractive. Fingers crossed.
Jen’s last post … Work in Progress
Maya had her first appointment shortly after she turned three, on the advice of my husband’s dentist and my dental hygienist. My husband is the one who took her to the dentist, and he said she did fabulously well. The dentist had told us that they woudl start slowly, introducing ehr to the office and the tools, doing a visual check, then progressing to brushing, flossing and if she permitted it maybe an actual cleaning. The dentist said that many children don’t even make it into the chair on their first visit. Maya was a champ, jumped right onto the chair, was interested in all of the instruments and let them go ahead with a cleaning. (Though the dentist stopped short of the fluoride treatment saying it had gone so well she didn’t want to ruin it by pushing her luck at the end). The highlight of the visit was getting to hold “Mr. Slurpee”, the spit-sucking thing for the dentist. Hopefully future visits will go just as well.
Wanted to add that I think a good part of the success we had was due to the fact that the month before her appointment, “Caillou goes to the dentist” was one of the kid show choices on Rogers on Demand, and so I’d let her watch it numerous times, hoping it would help her.
Still haven’t taken Megan who is almost three and a half – oops! I think she has “good teeth” like my husband, and they are well spaced out. Our dentist is also of the “don’t bring her before three unless there’s a problem” so we read the Berenstain Bears Go To The Dentist book a pile of times recently, and were supposed to go TODAY of all days and….Megan woke up and vomited. Foiled again!
So I have no tips on Jacob except give it time. And if the decay goes haywire and starts to hurt him? You’ll know, sedation will happen and all will be well again in due time.
eva’s last post … Seven Months! Already!
Hannah and Emma are the same way. Emma has great teeth (like me). Hannah has teeth more like her father. I have done the same thing with both girls so logically, they would both have wonderful teeth. Logic sucks though. This week Hannah goes in for her first 2 fillings! Yikes! And, they will fit her for an appliance that will be cemented in and will help expand her upper jaw. Like her father, she has a very narrow jaw and will never fit all her teeth in smoothly. Hannah’s mouth problems started before she was 2 when she took a fall and we ended up having to surgically removed her front 2 teeth. Her adult teeth won’t grow in for a long time…longer than normally if they had of fallen out on their own. So, there will be alot of work and cost involved with Hannah’s mouth. Thankfully we have a great dental plan and a dentist we like and trust. Keep your fingers crossed for me for Thursday. That is d-day at the dentist. And, because I am such a great mom, it’s also the day I scheduled Hannah’s immunizations booster shots. We go right from needles and fillings at the dentist to a needle at the health unit! Yup…that’s just how I roll!
My kids see a fabulous pediatric dentist. I started them each around 1-1.5 or so. The main reason for me was to get them used to going and let them have a positive memory of going to the dentist. Now they love going and get jealous if a sibling has an appointment but they don’t.
I had the most trouble with my middle child. He hated everything about the dentist (and getting his hair cut, etc.) until he was about 3.5. He is 5 now. For him it was all about laying down, either in the dentist’s chair or from my lap into the big pillow they have for the littlest ones. I think he felt too vulnerable laying down. Once they allowed him to sit up it went much smoother. And the repetition of knowing what to expect and knowing there is always a new toothbrush and a prize at the end.
we’re still working on molar X rays, six visits on into our dental relationship.
wee guy started coming with me to the dentist in utero and continued until he got his own paediatric professional at age 3.5y. he alternates between full cooperation and clenched mouth – it depends on how patient the crew are being with him. with the X rays, i think he’s inherited my narrow mouth and a very strong gag reflex – we’ll keep trying
and yay to tv on the ceiling – a great distractor
pomomama’s last post … friday forte- young and perky- not
Ah yes… getting Nemo to the dentist has been on my “to do” list for the past year. D’oh. Love the look of your Dentist’s office, far more kid-friendly than anything I encountered as a child – where do you take them?
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We all go here: http://www.smilesunlimited.ca/
It is very kid-friendly. They have TVs in the ceiling so that the kids can watch cartoons, and both of my kids are overjoyed on dentist appointment day. Unfortunately, though, it doesn’t always guarantee that they’ll cooperate once they’re in there, but I guess that the point is that they’re having positive experiences.
My dentist told us not to bother coming for a first visit until age three but my DD had her first ever visit last week thanks to knocked loose teeth. She doesn’t like men and was in pain so there was a lot of screaming which,while loud, let the dentist do his work.
We were lucky that our kid cooperated with the dentist when she needed 3 fillings before her 2nd birthday. I think the TV in the ceiling helped (the dentist at the time was also Smiles Unlimited, btw). The dentist said she was the youngest patient he’d even done fillings for without sedation. Now she’s almost 6 and is not a big fan of going to the dentist, mainly because of the flavor of the toothpaste (it literally made her throw up once). But she will buck up and go along with it, possibly because she can see that the dentist is doing her very best to accommodate her (blowing up latex gloves like balloons for entertainment can go along way to endear a child to her dental health providers.
Our dentist sees them at 3 too. Eve is happy and easygoing there, much like everywhere else. Angus had severe dentist anxiety early on (which I also have, so I was very understanding – the first hygienist, not so much. I asked for a new hygienist, and things went much better). I had ‘bad’ teeth and my sister had ‘good’ teeth – and my mother didn’t have any ultrasounds. It’s just the way things go.
allison’s last post … Knowing Me Knowing You May 2011
My older one has been really good about dentist appointments and now you’ve just reminded me that I need to make an appointment for the younger one. Darn it, I knew there was something left to do on that front!
Lady M’s last post … Little Gluey Hats
Ari had a sore throat, or strep, we think, but we’ll never really know because he refused to open his mouth for the doctor! Three people tried to restrain him, but nothing worked. He remained close-mouthed. The Dr. prescribed antibiotics assuming he had strep.
Old School / New School Mom’s last post … Tell Me a StoryOn The Toilet
My 2 yr old’s first dental visit was an emergency appointment when he fell and injured several of his top teeth, so NOT a good introduction to the world of dental care! He is now almost 3 and very resistive and in fact, had to be lightly sedated to have one of the injured teeth extracted last week. We opted for the light oral sedation rather than him being wide awake and strapped down head to toe. That’s the kind of thing that creates a lifelong dental fear! I’ve found some good tips on this Mom’s Guide if you want to check it out. Hopefully both of our little boys will eventually become more comfortable going to the dentist!